just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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