I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
