It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
