if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize