His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
