i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
