So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
