Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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