He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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