Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
