I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
