I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
