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Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
