Midget sex pt 2 tonight
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there was a trapeze. enough said
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
