You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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