if you like me you must not know who I am
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
