I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
