i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
