She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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