just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
