In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize