She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
