Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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