The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
