ugly people sure do ruin things
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
