So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize