When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
