You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
