I wish I only lived at night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
