In the future we'll all be gay
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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