grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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