he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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