Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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