hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The air taste purple.
Randomize
