when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
