i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
