the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize