Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
