Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
