Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
