69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
