All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You left your phone here
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