if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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