i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
