...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
