sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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