FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
