do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize