Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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