a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
