she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
