Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
