So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
