At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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