How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
