Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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