I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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