Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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