Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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