This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
