no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
