He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
